Can I be myself please

It's the first day at school: very traumatic and nerve racking.. So many things to deal with. 

And I am having go through this trauma far too many times I think.. Umm yeah I am not talking about the kids..  

I wonder if it's just me or does this happen to other sane people too? Nah, it can't be just me.. We moms are a crazy bunch who love judge fellow moms all the time. 

My worries went like this:

Should I dress in my comfort clothes or will I look like a sloppy mom( or when living in south east Asia mistaken to be a nanny.. Let me rephrase- sloppy nanny, you can't believe how well most of these nannies dress up)

If I make an effort to dress up then will have to do it every day?

Should I be a extra cheery mom and say hellos to all and sundry and be one of those volunteer moms .. 

But if I do that what if the teacher thinks I will be ready to volunteer for every project and decorating session? (craft gives me nightmares) and just because I am not a working mom must I automatically like being a volunteer mom?

Should I read a book (no M&B here, that's only for the bathroom)while I wait for the kids or should I play a game on my phone (sudoku in case someone notices)

Aargh!! All this in my head and if I try talking to the dad I will get this - are you for real- look. 

What really happened :

I reached too early, in anticipation, sat down to read a trashy novel (there was no one around) on my kindle in the very peaceful and green and nearly empty school surroundings.

Did not notice anyone till the bell rang (it was a steamy book) and then scrambled to meet the kids, totally forgot all the motions I went through earlier till I came back home and opened this half written rant.

Did I fail to mention the little meltdown that happened right outside school at the sight of an ice cream truck( why does that guy wait there in clear sight) which distracted me completely and had me wishing I could put a disillusionment charm on myself and ignore the kid sprawled on the floor.

Which brings me back to the point that I might have been already judged that day and I haven't bothered about the first day nerves hence ,as I am after all The creature of comfort, pretty floozy, either lost in a read or daydreaming and have yet made no effort to schmooze any fellow parents ( my kids will curse me when they are going to be left out of play dates).. These things happen for me in in its own time.. And I hate rushing things.

I complete this post as I am sitting once again under the lovely shade occasionally lifting my head to smile at familiar faces. 

#woesofthesociallyakward