So happy it hurts..

 Don’t know where to begin.. 

but only one word pops out over and over again in my head and it sums it all up. Nostalgia.

Nostalgia is a sentimentality for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations. Nostalgia is usually triggered by something reminding an individual of an experience from the past. It is often characterized as a longing or desire to return to a former time or place.

And I couldn’t have put it better. For that was what last night was about. 

Four months ago my daughter came up to me insisting that she be allowed to go to the concert of some pop artist I had never heard of. Just a few months ago I had relented for a Billie Eilish concert.. but that was Billie Eilish.. even I knew her songs.. so that’s famous.. but this guy she now wanted to see was an unknown… after a lot of groveling, I decided to look it up cause concert tickets aren’t cheap. While scrolling through the listings another concert ad caught my eye. It said Bryan Adams was performing in Bangkok. 

Wow! I exclaimed loudly, immediately I called the other half to give him this news. My daughter lifted her head from her screen to glance at it. Who is that? Never heard of him.. ( she was giving it back to me ) 

So I went on to explain who he was and how popular his songs were in my teenage years. 

Oh, then he must be old , pat came the reply . Do you think he can still sing… what if he doesn’t sound good. I have never heard of a 63 year old rock star.

I was highly affronted. Mind you, I felt no affection for Bryan Adams. I was no fan. Yes I did like a few of his songs but that’s that. 

It just hit that if he was 63 , that made me feel ancient. But there was an emotion that I felt when I saw the poster  that didn’t go away. It stirred up something but I didn’t know what. 

I discussed it at length with VJ whether to go or not.. He felt the same.. he was no fan either. We decided to think about it later.. cut to 3 months later , we still hadn’t booked. I heard a few friends talk about going so I went back to the booking website.. still plenty tickets were available..  That put VJ off . He decided it wasn’t worth it so he was not going to go. I still had that feeling and was on the fence.. so I asked around if there were any old fogies like me who wanted to go. 

I had never been to a rock concert and wanted to tick that off my bucket list. So I decided I would go , at least I knew a few songs.

My little one wanted to know more about  the singer I was talking about.. so I decided to show him the songs which I like back then. 

I made him listen to the two songs that popped in my head, ‘Summer of 69 ‘( of course ) and ‘Everything I do’.

He gave me his stamp of approval and concluded that Bryan Adams had passed muster . I could go now and listen to the old guy sing in his old guy voice. That led me to think, maybe I should refresh his songs, because I didn’t want to look like a fool with not being able to mouth or familiarly nod. 

So three days before the concert I decided to listen to an entire playlist, ready to jump through most of the songs because I was no fan. What followed  was something else.  I knew most songs… not the words but the tunes were familiar. Then ‘Really ever loved a woman’ happened and nostalgia hit hard. My teen years right in my ears. The song I had decided my dream guy had to live up to. ‘Please forgive me’, ‘Heaven’, ‘Straight from the heart’, ‘18 till I die’ and I was transported. Why had I forgotten all this? 

It had been years having heard these songs. Now I was hooked. Looking forward to the concert.. I knew I wouldn’t have to pretend to know the songs anymore. 

All I hoped was that Bryan Adams would sing decently and not disappoint. And was I blown away.. that man hasn’t aged a day neither his voice. Growing up in the 90’s I heard him more than I saw him..  so I wasn’t a fan of the man just the songs.. I sat there in the little concert hall amongst a very decent crowd of 40 year olds, who I can safely say like me had seen the man either for the first time or after a long time and were stunned by the high octane performance. Once the concert began, there was just one age in that room - 16 or maybe 18. I finally realized what was the feeling I felt from the day I saw the poster for the concert… it was pure nostalgia.. I realized every song had a memory and an emotion and not just the crushes and heartbreaks but the college socials, the rose days. These songs being the only way to feel cool and yuppie, the purani jeans and guitar feeling. Nostalgia not about the person or the lyrics but of a time that was wrapped in an old Metallica/ Iron Maiden t shirt , jeans (not ripped) but with a wrangler patch on the right side back and fake doc martens. Time frozen in a grainy colored photograph not yet sepia but not sharp just slightly blurred.

Infact I never knew the lyrics.. there was no means to source them, unless someone had a cassette of the original album with came with a small flap under the cover that would have the lyrics. 

I only had the blank cassette mixed tape made by the electronics shop guy who recorded my list in to it.

All I knew then was when was the cue to shout out the key lyrics in these popular songs.. 

Last night felt like just that. Little did I know that that man who I had heard probably 25/30 years ago would be carrying such precious cargo with him. 

And just like that he gave me back the best days of my life.