Couple goals

* long post alert*
I thought a lot tonight.. whether I should make this post public or not? Will I become an outcast amongst the Uber cool people I know. Will I ever be acknowledged as one amongst you all or will you all turn your back on me?

I did the unthinkable. I acted on a whim and I had a partner in my crime. If not for his egging, I wouldn’t have gone through the whole thing I am sure.(I am trying hard to redeem myself.)

I was feeling rebellious .. the kids were ensconced in their own world.. The husband left for his weekly massage. What was I to do? Netflix beckoned and I half heartedly decided to watch a movie for I had recently overdosed on some Korean series and my brains refused another shot of over the top melodrama (and we thought Indian TV serials nailed that genre)

I wasnt thinking clearly when I flicked through the list, all I wanted was some brainless movie.. I thought why not revisit one of the cheesiest movies I had ever seen.. there are so many cause I have watched pretty much ever movie that released in the 90s.

Thankfully Netflix here doesn’t have a large Hindi movie collection. You must understand the reason I chose what I saw.. I needed help and I turned to the one person who has a wider knowledge of this genre than me. I had three options and asked his help.

As I settled back to watch his choice, not sure if I would go through the whole thing, he turned up! The massage abandoned to watch the movie. I was stunned.

We watched cringing, ridiculing, hamming along, shaking our heads in disbelief as we mouthed the dialogues like it was yesterday.
It’s been a twenty years.. I can’t believe it’s been so long. The kids came to see what the fuss was all about. After quizzing me a few times if this was actually a movie or was I watching a music channel, the younger one dozed off. The older one watched as I tried to give her some trivia as to how big a hit was this movie in our times..she snorted in disbelief and soon gave in to her dreams.

I almost gave up and thought it was time to switch off but he still wanted to go on.. it wasn’t my fault. He was keeping my interest alive by spouting off all that movie trivia, dates, awards, events off his head. How much movie trivia can a person remember? But what am I saying, I grew up with a mom who had the 60s to the 80s movie trivia at her fingertips.

The house had grown silent around us and the end was almost near when divine intervention hit the screen and Tuffy came to save the day.
#Facepalm moment#

I must confess I enjoyed watching it .. well not all of it (how much dhik tana can one listen to after all but I couldn’t help falling in love with Madhuri once again). The only side effect was that I had opened the flood gates for a volley of lame and cheesy jokes in my partner which ended only after I promised I would confess to the world that we watched Hum Aapke Hain Koun and set couple goals for the rest of you.

I survived that.. but guess what I almost had chosen? Hum saath saath hain!!! 😳

The Age of Conditions.

You know like that time comes when suddenly you realise every other month you are a bridesmaid  or that other phase when baby announcements are flying fast and thick on your timeline. Well this time it is the turning 40 - age is just a number- u r as young as you feel- aged to perfection- cake toppers you see on your timeline along with birthday bashes that are as wild as the turning 18 ones. So what is the big deal?

I am inching closer every single day to the big 4 oh too .I always thought  giving a number so much hype was a bit too much . I mean what does really happen at 40 .. it’s just another year older.. I didn’t feel any different at 30 or 20.. then why was 40 such a big deal. Why do poeple especially women make such big deal about it? Was it the impending menopause that scared everyone? Or the tellatale grey hair or  those near sighted glasses?

Why did one feel older than one felt 39 .. well how much could change in a year..

So I thought I shall document 39 and then 40 and 41 just to see if there was a puff of smoke every time and I got my wrinkles or I got an epiphany that made me older and wiser or give me a wise man halo

And so I did.. watch my 39th year closely. Well only when I remembered what I wanted to do.

But to my surprise there has been a shift. Not physical attributes as much the as mental ones.

Again the observations are mine and mine alone and mostly of me.No animals, kids, older adults were hurt in there process. It is good to put a disclaimer in this time and age of zero tolerance.

The fist thing I noticed since I turned 38 that all my peers were changing too.and in the most mundane ways.

While teenage was the age of physical maturity.. mentally we were quite stunted by simple lack of exposure. Thank god for the lack of freedom from our Indian Parents who rightfully don’t see you a day over 12 even when you are nineteen.

Twenties was the age of freedom but still lacking mental maturity (like a bull in a china shop or 5 year old left alone with a tube of cream- you know where that is coming from).. While that was the age most of us got jobs , got married and even had kids... but I think the freedom from parental control, in most cases unhinges the sanest of them  all. It is by far the best years of life one could have because for most it is the age of sex ( no i think the age of consumation describes it better- for if you are gujju you get married by the beginning of the 20's spectrum and if you are a south indian then by the far end of the same)and one'ss own money if it is just a stipend of 1500Rs a month.
Then comes the age of the realization. The thirties.
The honeymoon has worn of long ago...Sex is the last thing on the weary mother's mind and the first thing on the deprived fathers's.It is the age of the offspring that seemed like the gift of angels just a few years ago seems pretty much like devils spawn now.You wished those chubby hands and feet hadnt bamboozled you in having one more set of those.This wasnt what you had signed up for.Nobody warned you about the sheer amount of choices you have to make in this current age and time.And that to me is the biggest stress of them all.this school or that school, Ballet or gymnastics, public speaking or sport.aaargh.
well thats just one aspect of choices.
We are quite on the brink of reversing pretty much everything our parents thought was wisdom.
Now as i write i realise that our thirties couldnt be remotely relevant to my parents .Their struggles were totally different.
Realisations hit hard and some do turn their life around but then the likes of me who like to float through life just keep floating occasionally looking back and sighing and wish i had done a bit more when i had the chance. Before you launch on that u can still do it  and you are young lecture in the comments , let me say that i am only reflecting and you are lying if you havent thought of this yourself.

That brings me to the end of my tirade and the beginning of what i meant to write after digressing a whole lot.
i have noticed for the past year or so how most people refuse tea. Sound s trivial but that got me thinking. As an avid tea drinker i noticed most people my age dont say yes to that cuppa even at the holy 3pm...the tea drinkers Bhrama Muhurtam.
Similarly with alcohol.. what once in 20’s would be a chance that one would jump at against all odds of snooping parents and because the witching hour was something you had never been allowed out became a frustrated no in the 30’s because you were either feeding your new born or had school early or had no help to watch the kids or that interminable Dabba routine.
In the 40’s you still find people shying away from that second drink for a variety of reasons even though most of the above reasons were sorted.Maybe it is cooler to be seen holding a vegetable juice signifying a more mature and responsible you?

I vivdly remember how a decade ago a friend often meant  a cup of tea and 2 am friend meant a night out of drinking.Has the ephipany that accompanies turning 40 struck out the zest of youth or is it my next observation...that everone has a condition to share as soon as they near 40.

It is either the  lamest of all -acidity , a more sophisticated reflux, or the more exclusive IBS.Is it my imagination or are most people waking up to the loosies.
The next most common affliction to my age is the Planter fascitis. The fancy name for painful feet.Until a few months ago i had never heard of such a thing and then the next thing i knew i had it too...and it meant special shoes and how i was found explaining to all and sundry my choice of ugly footwear and my fancy condition had a name.
Next set of conditions would be the headaches and migraine varieties. Not to trivialise anyone’s sufferings but everyone in the forties does have one to share. A condition that seems to affect most women’s need for tea, coffee or alcohol.
Even if it is a simple one as balding giving up tea is the order of the day.
Is it that the excesses of the 20s and 30’s are turning around to haunt or  are we simply more aware of our bodies and are attempting to turn inwards beghining with the superficial layers  until we reach the innermost .. I think by that time we reach in we would be way past our 50’s into the age of acceptance and self realisation.. I have to wait to write that one out.. 
Currently I am still in the age of conditions . And all said and done I have been hit by the mysterious ephiphany too that has my precious tea cups in need of some attention and alcohol that has fast evaporated leaving behind spirits of the past.
I am not sure if this rant makes any sense to me anymore but The list of conditions are growing and so am I.