Does everyone feel like this...or do i need to get shot in the head?

Frantic calls from home have put me in a tizzy, yes i am due anytime in the next 15 days but i seem a little slow catching on the excitement the others seem to feel back home. But this is the way i have felt all through this pregnancy.
 Like all tired mums, i am waiting to pop since i got pregnant but its a different wait this time. I am sure this post will make me a social outcaste, i can see all thos mums shocked expressions. Dont get me wrong i always wanted a second child but only after having the first one i realised the extent of heart space this child of mine has upsurped. Well, rationale tells me its possible to love more an one person to bursting proportions...but i did feel it was impossible.
I have dutifully prepped myself with my first born's baby videos hoping to melt at the sight of baby cuteness and also sniffing through her baby clothes hoping to feel the sweet milky smell, but hormones seem to evade me this time. I am all prepared, clinically to welcome this baby. Even shopping did not excite me this time and that is a shocker, even shopping for plastic dabbas gets me excited.
 Is it going to be a 'been there done that' case? Am i inviting scorn for saying that? Arent mums supposed to be rivers of infinite love an all that jazz. What always bothered me as a kid was not having enough baby pics of myself but albums devoted to my older brother's first year (I did make up for the lack of baby pics with older ones whereas my brother couldnt care less about his pics being taken).

 Dont slot me in a neglected second child starved of love kind of picture, i was quite the pampered brat. So i have no excuse for my insane thoughts. Its not my first born i am worried about who has her lion's share of attention and will continue to do so not just from me, but the poor little one to come who i am scared will not evoke the same choke in the throat feelings.

So, my dear baby boovie( thats the name u have been given by ur older sis for some reason),these are musings of a mad hormonal mum who is physically incapable of keeping her mind occupied with sane thoughts, but let me assure you of rib cracking , face squeezing , snuggle till you will suffocate, excitement from an older sister who cant wait to hold you( mildly putting).

Twiddling thumbs
Your nervous momma